FAQs
{Fucking Asinine Questions}
Because there are no stupid questions--just stupid people!
Last Updated:  January 27, 2010

Joining

Membership Access
Membership Areas
Haters

Can I get a free trial membership?
HELL THE FUCK ASS NO you cheap mother fucker!  However, if you are so poor that you can't afford an inexpensive membership at our sites yet really need to get your porn fix then let us know what skills you have which you think we might be interested in exchanging a membership for some type of work you can do.  Have no useful skills?  Too bad, so very very sad.  Please realize that our month server bills alone are probably more than your monthly house payment.  Our modeling fees are even more than that.  Running a site isn't cheap.  Yet, with your very inexpensive membership you get access to everything which costs use a hell of a lot of money to bring you.  It's a bargain.

Is it safe to enter my credit card information at your site?
It's a hell of a lot safer entering your credit card information at our site than giving it over the phone on your easily intercepted cordless phone to some minimum wage staff person.  Our billing company uses the latest SSL encryption which is implossible to crack.  Our billing company has been in business for many years and is a very reputable company.  In the 18+ years we've been operating online, we've never ever had a problem with credit card security at any of our sites.

Why is my credit card getting declined every time I try to join your site?
Our billing company uses very strict fraud controls to help protect you from someone else using your card without your knowledge.  Make sure you are entering the information EXACTLY as you have on file with you credit card company.  If you are having problems, I recommend you refresh your memory by checking your credit card bill to make sure everything is EXACTLY as you have on file.

Why the fuck isn't my password working?
If your password doesn't work at all, the most likely reason is that you are entering the wrong fucking password!  Also note that the user names and passwords are case sensitive.


Why the fuck do I get taken to the Join Page when I enter my password?
99 times out of 100 it's because someone else other than you has gotten a hold of your password.  98 of those 99 times are because you gave it to someone, but it could also be that someone has hacked your computer or email account and is using ALL your user names and passwords for their own enjoyment.   We have a password management script that constantly watches the logs to see how many people are logged in with the same user name and password and will redirect accounts it thinks are being shared to our join page.  Contact us and we will be happy to provide you with a screen capture of the logs to show you who else has been using your account and when.

I really like one of your models and would like to see more of her.
Contact us and let us know.  Sometimes we can get a model back in, sometimes we might already have another set we can post.

Why do I get taken to the site's main page when I try to enter a gallery?
Some sites are designed so that certain problems will take you to the main page instead of giving you an error message.  Please report any problems loading galleries at our sites so that we can fix them.  Most sites have a Bug Report button on the page with the gallery so you can simply hit that button to submit a Bug Report.  This will automatically tell us what page the problem is on which is most important.  You can also email us.


Why am I having problems playing your video clips?
Over the years we've tried out many different methods for delivering the video clips to our customers.  The only method we found which customers had the least amount of problems playing them was encoding our clips as Windows Media Video (wmv files).  Most people use PCs running MS Windows and thus should have no problems playing wmv files.  A few others, like ourselves in fact, don't use PCs or MS Windows, but should still be able to play wmv files with the appropriate plug-ins installed.  Click here for Windows or here for Mac if you have problems playing our clips.

You should also realize that many of our clips are very very large files and as such it'll take a long time for them to load.  If you click a video and don't see anything, you probably just have to wait for it to load which might take awhile.  At many of our sites you may also right click and choose to SAVE the video files to your computer so that you can load them from there.

Your site sucks, why isn't it what I thought it'd be?
You are obviously blind or stupid, but most probably both.  We provide more previews and information about our content than almost any other sites on the net, so you should know exactly what you're going to get.  We don't try to fool anyone, in fact most of our customers claim our sites are "better" than they anticipated.  However, if you don't agree, please contact us and explain as we will update the tour information at the sites if they are in any way misleading as we do not need money so badly that we need to try to mislead people.  In fact, doing so will simply result in less money as pissed off customers will leave and we make most of our money from long time customers.


You fucked my girlfriend.  I want her pictures removed immediately or I will...
Join the list dude.  If I had a dime for every time I heard this one!  Dude, your girlfriend's a ho and didn't say anything about you while my dick was in her ass.  I had no idea she was your girlfriend, and I doubt the other 50 guys who fucked her last month had any idea about you either.  But honestly, and this is exactly what we will be telling your girlfriend when we fuck her again, she should be upset with YOU for even being at our site.  What are you doing here with a fine peice of ass like that waiting on you?  She's better off without you.

We won't be removing her pictures because of a threat.  We've had every threat in the book from people trying to get us to remove pictures.  Don't think your threat will be any different or any more realistic to make us act any differently than we have for the many years we've been in business.  In fact, our reaction to ALL threats are to feature the girl in question on our main page for all to see.  Seriously.  So think before threatening us.  However, we do have an agreement in which we will remove content under 2 conditions:  1st, that you haven't threatened us.  2nd, you must purchase the content back from us at the same price we paid the model--this is a bargain and will allow us to just get another model to shoot to replace the content with--you aren't even paying for our time and labor, but simply returning the actual amount we paid the model.  Under these conditions, we will delete all the content of the model.  However, you will need talk with us because if we've sold your content to any other companies, we will have to talk with those companies to try to make a replacement agreements and in some cases this might not be possible.


 



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